ninja mode

“Use the farm, Cuke!”

Um…wow.

Today is intense virus-scan-search-and-destroy-clean-up-you-dirty-computer!!!1! day. After getting virus warnings last night. Yay.

So…while the scans run on the laptop, I am posting from the desktop because it’s too slow to try and do anything with it while it’s doing that. And researching new phones, oho. I want this one. :B Of course there’s no real point, since I already have a camera….but it’s cool and trendy… Maybe in 5 years or so I guess when technology gets better and it will be cheap and not so trendy anymore. Sigh.

Went geocaching again…will upload pics later. 1 1/2 finds, since we only found part of the second one we attempted. And there were LOTS of thorns at the second one. Ouch.

Ehehe. Recieved notification that my amazing Hello Goalie shirt is on its way to my house. Yay!

In other news….broke and fixed the website again today. Not intentionally. Actually I’m not sure just how it got broke, there was this mysterious “index.php” file in there that wasn’t supposed to be. Weirdness.

Been doing a lot of art lately. I ought to finish that gallery on here I started a while ago. Anyway, I went to Hyatt’s the other day to use up the last of my giftcard and get a new black inkpen since my favorite one recently bit the dust, and returned with a replacement pen and a new black Tria marker. <3 Oh Tria markers….I cannot begin to count or describe all the individual amounts of awesomeness you are…if only you were a more reasonable price… Once again, I have to say, I cannot believe how expensive art materials are. It’s ridiculous. I mean, it’s worth it to pay a little more for something good (case in point, the cheap sketchpad from Michael’s…ick…) but why SO MUCH?? Yeesh.

I wish the weather would get nicer. Writing this here really does so much good. I want to go skate again.

What else…

Van brakes are…well…broke again, astoundingly. Went to backup today and the pedal went to the floor without doing much at all. Yay…wait…no…not yay… So Cliff and I ordered the last part for the Mazda which will hopefully get here in one piece and soon so my little red car can go.

Ok…I find this sort of funny, but I have to say something…when I was little, I had a little red Powerwheels-type car…and now I [will soon] have a real little red car… Coincidence? Irony? Something?? Well I was amused, anyway.

After a bit of thought, I threw together a nice new 403 page for the banned one.

Lately, I find myself saying “I don’t get it” to more and more things, more and more often.

Take for example that last entry where I went on and on about how stupid girls are (even though I am one.) See also: Star Wars episode 1.

But anyway. I know I said I wasn’t going to do this again, but here I am doing it because I have to get it out somewhere. Having it sit around in my head is clearly doing me no good at all. So skip this if you like.

My latest case of “I don’t get it” seems to spring from the way that even after three months stupid things can still have quite a sting to them. Although it’s currently not posted here, I’m fairly certain those of you who are readers of this blog since before the Great Blogsmash of May ‘05 have a decent understanding of just what went down between me and my dad, and probably know where I stand on it. While I don’t want to get back into all that, and I’m still debating whether to re-post the archives of those particular entries (along with everything else) I can’t help but find myself still thinking about the situation. And it’s not like I even want to anymore.

It just happens. Usually right before I want to fall asleep. I don’t know why my brain is so entertained by the idea of bringing up some really rotten memories just before I want to go to sleep… I mean, I’m dead tired, I’ve had a long day, and I just want to sleep. But I can’t. And whether I like it or not, I remember everything that happened on and on until it gets to be 2…3….4 am, and I fall asleep more from exhaustion than anything else. And then I sleep till noon, because what else am I going to do? I try and not think about it, I try and think of things that make me happy, but it all ends up somehow leading back to the bad things. There’s no point in trying, so at this point I just give up trying and try to occupy myself with the computer, or by playing with my DS, or by drawing until I am tired enough that it doesn’t really matter what I’m thinking anymore and I can just sleep.

It sucks. Quite a lot, really. I’m hoping tonight will be different since I went out geocaching all day with Cliff (new pictures from today on my flickr page, by the way!) and I feel physically tired, but I know my mind won’t let me. So even though it’s almost 2 am now, I probably won’t get to sleep until 3 or 4. I think it was almost 5 before I fell asleep last night, and that was after a good few hours of just laying awake, no real attempt to occupy myself involved.

I feel like I would feel better if I wrote a letter to the pig herself, telling the truth about what’s happened. Even if she didn’t believe me, even if she didn’t read all of it, I think that if there’s any small shred of self-esteem in her body it will get a nice slam from that. And based on what I know about her, she pretty well deserves it. Actually, what I’d really like would be to generate some really awful image in her head and somehow associate it with my dad. Like say, something to the extent of: “I hope every time you go into his bedroom you think of YOUR MOTHER. TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THE JOY RELIGION. AND TAXES.” Because religion makes you feel awkward. And everyone hates taxes. Of course if I were to write such a letter, it would never use such direct and laughable phrases, and I’d instead use the philosophy of big-wording her to death. Use more fifty-cent words than she’s got the mental change for, and tell her just what she’s really done and how I feel about it. Nonthreateningly, of course. Because while I’d like to slap her, that’s no real way to solve a problem. Unless you’re being mugged or something, I guess, and even then a slap wouldn’t do a lot of good, by itself.

I thought I finally had my head wrapped around this, but I guess not. Though having banned the Mattel IP’s from my domain does feel a bit better, since now I can write a bit more freely. And even if he is still reading this, screw it. I’ll find out. And ban some more addresses. And if he still gets in, then fine. You got what you wanted, Dad, I still think you’re an idiot for “dating” this woman, I’m pretty messed up after what you said, and I don’t see an end to it anytime soon. And I still say that “being part of someone’s life” by anonymously reading their blog is pretty pathetic.

I guess I’m going to try and sleep now, because I’m out of words.

Haha! Having never done this IP-Ban thing before, I wasn’t entirely sure *what* would happen to the Ban-ee. (Though I admit, I really should have known, I just didn’t put two and two together.) Going through the recent-visitors list this morning, I found that he (my dad) tried to access the main page and got slapped with a 403 error. I really, really, should have known that was coming. But it’s still funny anyway. I mean, I personally hate these kinds of errors, but being on the opposite end of one is HILARIOUS. I also should have realized this by now, but his IP has only changed once, so they seem to be static. I guess if another one crops up, I can ban that as well. But I doubt it. I don’t think he’s smart enough anyway to figure that out.

Still. Man. If I could make a 403 page like the Strong Bad 404 page…that would just be even more hilarious. And all this also reminds me that I have to re-post those pretty error pages I made and then lost when the site got turned back over to February. They had pirates.

So Mom is late coming home today, and I just found out why – won Darien Lake tickets on the radio. How spiffy! She had to stop by the radio station to nab ‘em, but wow. Granted, I’ve only ever tried to win something on the radio once (I don’t even remember what it was or exactly when) and failed miserably. So…yay!

The neighbors have been having a garage sale all week, and up until this morning they haven’t woke me up in the morning. Even today, I just fell back asleep. Then I woke up and it was nice and peaceful, and then the OTHER neighbor decided it would be a great time to whack weeds or whatever that noisy thing is and so much for the peace. So I listen to music instead.

On another note: I’ve confirmed the fact that I really, really hate girls. 98% of us or something close to it are complete morons who clearly only care about things like clothes and boys and the way they make it so obvious drives me NUTS. All this is triggered by going to Cliff’s game last night. Being that it’s the summer league, the team is slightly different, and apparently one of the new (I think?) people has THE MOST RETARDED GIRLFRIEND EVER. And friend. Who showed up last night and proceeded to sit and talk loudly sitting there in their flip flops and t-shirts and saying intelligent things like “Omygawd my feet are like so cold!” SHEER BRILLIANCE RIGHT THERE. I at least knew in advance I’d be able to tolerate the cold in my t-shirt (for some reason in the spring/summer, it’s a lot less cold in there)…no….knew IT WAS GOING TO BE SOMEWHAT COLD. YEESH! Then they left and it was quiet, but over time a headache was developing in my head and while I could tolerate the cold, I couldn’t tolerate the screaming gnomes running all over the bleachers and generally making an earthquake.

So thinking, “hey, I can solve this,” I went upstairs to the window that overlooks the ice, because there’s a bench there and it’s always really quiet. I sat down, and noted that there was a bunch of garbage at one end, which I’ve never seen happen before but people are messy pigs so I didn’t really think anything of it. But then, after five minutes of sitting there, guess who comes up behind me and sits down?

YES. THAT IS CORRECT. THE MORON GIRLS. OH MY HEAD.

I sat there for about five minutes listening to them talk about Justin Timberlake and mentally flailing helplessly at a crossword puzzle before I felt my own brain start to come melting out my ears and left. I know they were probably talking about me after I left, and I don’t really care, but I sort of wonder what they said. :B I bet it was something like “Ohmygawd I bet that girl with like the like red hair like doesn’t like Justin Timberlake!!!” Ouch. Brain. Meltiiiiiing….

So then after that I tried to watch the end of the game through the windows on the doors, but that was pretty useless. Next time will be better, I hope. Either I will remember my laptop or MP3 player to drown the morons out, or I’ll find an army of smart people to accompany me and maybe they’ll melt or something. I just don’t get it. Why is it that the majority of female humans approximately my age that I have ever seen/met in my life are ALL like this? And if they’re not, they progressively BECOME this way. Case in point, a certain former friend. See, I would LIKE to have more friends that are girls, seeing that I really only have one right now, BUT THEY’RE ALL DUMB. I just don’t get it!

So…um…to summarize, girls are dumb. Even though I am one.

So I just got back from skating around the block. Now, granted, our block isn’t all that big. I’m not sure exactly what the distance amounts to, but it’s considerably less than a mile. I left about 1:00, and just got back now at 1:30, so that’s a half hour. Of course, minus about ten minutes, since it’s about five both coming and going for the whole skates/pads on/off deal. So about twenty minutes. About halfway through I started to get pretty tired, but I think I was mostly just thirsty because it’s kind of warm today and I’m wearing a black shirt. I think over time I’ll be able to cut down on time, probably once I stop skating like a four year old. I’m afraid to know what I looked like, but then again, I really don’t care.

This is mostly for reference for myself, like a benchmark or something so over time I can see how much better I’ve gotten. So I guess that makes today day one of the Meg Gets More Physical Activity Plan. Yay.

Changed my mind. The Mattel IP’s get banned at 2:30 this afternoon instead of midnight.

Everyone else: You know you want one of these! :O

I am excited about something. But I can’t write about it here. Or actually…shouldn’t. I could make it into a password-protected post…but I don’t feel like it at the moment. Mostly I don’t feel like trying to remember everyone I know who reads this and mass e-mailing a password to everyone. Maybe tomorrow.

Today I went skating at the bike path and it was fun. Partly because it’s a lot easier on a nice flat smooth surface rather than a bumpy one, and partly because I had kneepads and wrist thingies and was a lot less afraid of diving onto my knees. Or falling and scraping my hands up and breaking my wrists. Yes, diving straight onto my hands getting ground across the pavement like a big stone cheese grater… Not having to think about that (as much) made it a lot easier. I still skate like a four year old, but at least like a semi-coordinated four year old.

I attempted to teach Cliff how to use Flash today because he wanted to know how. He picked up on it a lot quicker than I did when I was learning it. Flash is tricky until you get the hang of it.

After/during that (seeing how I have two computers, ha!) we looked up plane tickets to New York now that we’ve narrowed down which weekend we plan to go. It’s actually a lot cheaper than I initially thought. If we do end up going that particular weekend and taking those particular tickets, we’ll be leaving kind of early, and getting back at a decent hour. Though I’m not sure if going that early is the best idea. It might be cheaper to go slightly later, too. Of course that cuts down on time we have to do stuff. Hmm. Decisions.

Got a bunch of work done on the Geocaching site today…it looks a lot less ugly now. Cliff cannot figure out why I don’t just draw out page layouts on paper before I try putting them together in HTML, but really, I can’t either. Mostly because when I do try to do that, what I end up with is never what I planned out originally. Or it looks good on paper and looks like crap on screen. I don’t know. I mostly like smashing things together in HTML and seeing how it looks rather than doing it on paper first. Emphasis on the “smashing” part.

For some reason these posts are not coming up with the right time on them, which I cannot figure out. But I think I’ll leave it. I have learned my lesson about messing with things like that. Just don’t.

I hope it’s nice out tomorrow. I’d like to go skating again since I’m not afraid of it now. Heck, I could even go by myself if I just went around the block or something. :B I would check the weather online, but every time I do that the weather is exactly opposite of what The Internet tells me it is, so I just won’t and that way I won’t have anything to worry about.

While driving to WalMart the other day I had an odd realization. It’s almost been a year since I’ve had my driver’s license and I still think it’s weird to drive places by myself. Somehow I have gained the trust of the Important People of the State of New York who have concluded that I am allowed to Drive By Myself And Not Be Considered Hazardous. Which is strange. Not that I feel like I drive “dangerously,” but weird. And I can’t figure out why.

Another odd realization: After going to both WalMart and Target I’ve decided that helmets ideal for skating don’t come in adult sizes. At all. I couldn’t find one single one. That was quite odd.

And WalMart is a ridiculously busy place since the food section opened. Yeesh. I wanted to say something like, PEOPLE WITH TOO MANY CARTS, STEP ASIDE! I AM IN NEED OF A HELMET!! DO NOT PUT YOURSELF BETWEEN ME AND MY PROTECTIVE GEAR NEEDS!! But I didn’t because I’m not really like that in real life.

But sometimes I wish I was. :B